the military wants YOU (not me)

towards the end of my Senior year circa 2007 I (like everyone else) got the call from the military, in hopes to recruit me.

there were three calls, The Army, The Navy, and The Marines.

The Army was the first to call.

-Hello?

-Hi can I speak to Andrew Nguyen please?

-This is He.

-Hi Andrew, this is So and So from the US Army, we're wondering what you were planning on doing after you graduate.

-Well Financially speaking, I plan on going to NOVA, then transfering to GMU for my Bachelors.

-ah well did you know that if you joined the army, the army will pay for your school once you finish?

-yeah but, by the time I graduate NOVA i'll have the money I need.

-...

-...

-well what are you majoring in?

-At the moment Art.

-oh.

-...

-Well Andrew, thanks for answering my questions and if you're interested just call me at ***-***-**** (I don't actually remember the number.)

I was relieved I wasn't forced to sign up for the Army. at the time I couldn't see myself joining it. I couldn't survive.

a few days later the Navy calls me up.

-Hey this is So and So is Andrew around?

-one second ANDREW PHONE (this was daniel)

-Hello?

-Hey Andrew, this is so and so from the Navy, I was going to ask you a few questions if you don't mind.

-sure.

-what are your plans after high school?

-I plan to go to NOVA for the first two years then transfer to a local university like GMU.

-Smart Man, have you considered the Navy they pay for yo-

-Sorry to interupt but the Army guy already called and told me your story, I'm not really interested, plus I don't see myself being FIT enough to be in the NAVY.

-Well you don't have to be That fit, plus that's what the training is for, it gets you to shape so you get used to all you have to d-

-I'm sorry, I'm not interested.

-Well I understand Andrew, and if you ever change your mind, and I hope you do. just call med at ***-***-****.

-Alright.

"why do they keep calling, this is really getting annoying..."

a week later guess who called? YOU GUESSED IT (oh god I pulled a Jeanine Voicemail)! The Marines had called me.

-Hello is this Andrew Nguyen?

-yes.

-I'm Major So and So from the Marines Corp. I was hoping you'd take the time to answer a few questions.

-does it have to do with college?

-just some of them.

-well I'm going to NOVA then plan on transfering to GMU once I finish.

-Oh that's good. what do you plan on doing?

-I was thinking Art, or some sort of Art History, I really like teaching.

-That's great we could use more of those in the world. now let me ask you a few questions about yourself.

-go ahead.

-How long does it take you to run a mile?

-well from high school records, It usually takes me about 10-15 minutes.

-oh... yeah the marines require you to be below 8

-that sucks.

-how bout push ups?

-I'm decent.

-how about pull ups?

- HA I wish.

-Oh. well from the sound of it, I don't think you'll be qualified for the Marines.

-what about training?

-No. have you tried the Navy? they're looking for recruits too.

I got denied by the Marines when they asked to join....

end of story.

Kirby the Alien boy

This is the story of Kirby (if that is his name).

he wasn't as pink but he was definitely shaped like him.

We walked into Panera, and as we were ordering he runs by and tells us "hey guys, watch out, there's a knifeist running around, but I'm on the look out so it'll be ok." then he scampers off.

We had found our table, and started to down our food, Dan H. had his soup and sandwich, Omar with nothing in front of him, and I don't even remember what patrick had, but it was toasted. I myself had the Turkey Artichoke toasted, because it's ridiculously delicious.

as we all finished our last bites, Kirby, had made his way over to our table.

"Do you guys work for NASA?" he says.

quickly we all decided to play along with it. "Yeah we do." Omar replies.

"have you guys met aliens?"

"of course."

"have you ever been to space?"

"I've been to space." Dan says quickly holding 4 fingers in the air. "4 times."

"wow."

Kirby decides to continue the conversation talking about how he met Aliens, I'm a little bit shady about this because I was so anxious to post stuff onto Twitter about it.

"I've got the brain of an alien." kirby says.

"woah. we can't be seen talking to you, kid get out of here." Dan says.

"no I got the brain like one."

"we can't be talking to each other dude, NASA employees and Aliens can't be seen together." Omar says.

"why not?" Kirby asks.

"do you know what the A's in NASA stand for?" Omar points at the A's in the NASA logo. "America, and America."

Kirby walked away.

we started cracking up, we've never met a kid like this before, I thought to myself, the kids mom is right there, should we be messing with him?

Kirby found his way to the table again and started asking us more questions, we tried to shoo him away this time, one of the employees yell to Kirby telling him to go back.

but before he did, Dan had passed him a button. the button of team 116.

"theres a secret message on there kid. try and figure it out."

I decided now was the time we record some of this, so you know we're not lying.

after that third go with Kirby, it was close to nine o'clock, the guys had to get to Reston Town Center in time for Alice in Wonderland, I unfortunately could not make it. so we started to leave.

we had forgotten Kirby still had the button.

"do you guys want the button back?"

"Keep it kid, you still need to figure out the secret message."

"how do I figure it out?"

"try talking to it under a full moon."

we exited the building, the door was about to close, and I look back, Kirby stood in the Foyer. the last words I heard were.

"What will happen?!"

new posts soon!!

I've got three posts pending in the near future, I just got to rewrite them in my "story telling tone."

see you all soon.

Runescape

In sixth grade I met dan carew.

he's a baller.

he got me into a lot of stuff, Magic The Gathering, Legos, Warhammer, DnD.

one thing I remember the most is Runescape. it was a silly old online role playing game. you started off level three and had to fight your way (or work your way) to a high level.I chose to be a fighter who was awesome at mining stuff. Dan had chosen cooking and fishing, gary chose crafting, I don't recall what andy did, he just kind of did his own thing.

The story of Noobs:
A noob is someone who is new to the game, other names for them are, Newcomer, Newbie, Newb noobie, just variants of that word. as time progessed you gain experience, be it point value or Just life experience (IE Dont go to the wild with expensive stuff unless you know what the hell you're doing

I was a noob for a while, and would always beg and plead for money or fancy doo-hicky's, I managed to get myself a copper(crap) sword, and a wooden(crapper) shield. money management was tight, I had to take a loan from Dan Carew, 1k(1000) gold coins, with 10% interest rate that would go up by 1% everytime I didnt pay it all. (Im sure I owe him well over a million coins). It was a sad life.

Relinquishing the name "noob":
once you get that mithril Armor (4 away from crap) you feel legit as hell, wearing blue armor never looked so rewarding. when you walk with mithril you will have noobs walk around like you are king of the castle (the castle being Lumbridge the home of noobs). you'll have more experience in the world, quests seem really easy to you, yet grow more challenging (walk across the world of Runescape to collect a few pieces of dust, go south, bury dust, fight 2 skeletons, walk north, then walk back.)

Avatars:
I had many a name for my runescape accounts-
Aznduelist (legit)
HaiHuy(less legit)
Jollygod (Legiter)
Ahnxlazyman(rolling in dough)

of course aznduelist got hacked (I hated runescape for the longest time after that)
Haihuy was a dumb make, I was nubly with him and lost faith.
Jollygod, Oh Jollygod, the man was a legend, he was such a good character, his name had sucha playful nature. so of course I had to be nice to all the noobs while walking with my lovely mithril armor. (Lol)
Ahnxlazyman was my remake of the long gone Aznduelist, he is rolling in dough due to his riches. (2 friends left the game and gave me there characters)

I was going to tell a story here, but I just wanted to educate what runescape is. another (better) post will be made with stories of runescape.


This is a pretty weak post, and it's incredibly lame cuz it's about an MMORPG, and its lamer than WOW. and WOW is pretty lame.

sorry.

Future Post: Runescape

Be prepared, Tuesday Night it should be available.

Jim The Beach Hobo.

Lots of updates for the lack of last month.


this year's beach trip with LAMATB was more of a success story.

on the first night we went down to the beach. We set up 3 beach chairs at the shore, and a blanket for andy and jessica.

as we were chilling dan decided to start constructing an elaborate design. a large circular design like crop circles.

Jeanine's photo (click to expereience the epicness)

as dan made it larger, me removed lori and my chairs, and left kit alone. and continued to design.

as we started to finish a scruffy old man hobbles over to kit. sees that he walked over an art design. and jumped over to kit.


"Now I know you're just sitting waiting for people like me, to ask you how the hell you did this while you're sitting there."

Lol

kit and Jim started talking about stuff. the rest of us gathered around away from kit,

and I asked "should we go over there?"

as we did, we introduced ourselves.

and he asked us what we did as students:

Kit: Art Major
Lori: Art
Dan:Engineering
Me: History

his response to Kit and Lori were "Art is great, keep at it, and you'll get to the top"
To dan "Engineering is where the money is. keep at it, and you'll be getting a lot of money."
to me "somebody go ahead and shoot him in the head now."

WTF

lol

as he continued he started talking about Obama
and how he should reduce gas emissions by eliminating Drivethrus.

he would also interrupt himself by saying "forget about forget about f-f-f-forget about it."

He threw his ciggarette into the design, and said "shit I need that, but how will I get my cigarrette without ruining the art work."

so he fumbles across the design to get the last of his cigarrette, and pockets it.

as a large lady walked by he said "I used to surf, I'd like to surf her ass all night long"

as Jim talked about his life, Kit mentioned how his mom used to live a lifestyle similar to Jim's,

he responded "I'd like to talk to your mom on the phone for an hour. and work her for a couple more..."

bahahaha.


it had become about 1:16 and he asked what time it was, and said

"oh shit, I better go to make last call."

One of The Worst Beach Trips Ever

Last year I had gone to the beach with the LAMATB group.


we had gone down to VA Beach.


now I had a thing for Jeanine then, and all I wanted to do was impress her.

so you know I took the initiative to book the rooms plan everything out.

I bought dinner for them all on Dan's birthday, to look good I guess? schedule a birthday surprise with the "Greek" waitresses for dan.

on the last day, I woke up early to even try to meet jeanine to see the sun rise.

she overslept. Lol Fail.

though I have to admit the sunrise was beautiful

Not actual shot:


while down at the beach I decided to go get water for the cooler so we could all be hydrated.
I went to jeanine's car, and as I grabbed the cooler closed the trunk. as I walked away, I thought to myself "Oh shit, I forgot to grab the other cooler" so I had walked back to the trunk. i started fumbling around looking for her keys.

oh shit.

I locked the keys in the trunk.

I was freaking out. and I went to the hotel office, and told them I locked my keys, and asked if they had anything to help me unlock it.

they didnt.

so we called a lock smith, the dispatcher told me it was 57 dollars for service. I told her Thanks, I'll see them soon.

the dispatched Locksmith, came unlocked the trunk, and as I grabbed the keys, he approached me and said "that'll be 187 dollars..."

"what? the dispatcher told me 57?"

"no it's 57 for the call. 130 for the actual service."

"who charges for the call?!"

"we do."

what a rip off. I paid, got the keys and came back. andy and sean met me half way and asked what happened.

"dude did you lock the keys in the trunk?"

"....yeah..."